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Smoked Out                              
                                                             
Ian Smith

 

Today I gave up smoking.

It seemed easy; just a matter of throwing away my cigarettes and telling myself that I’m a non-smoker.

But, one thing I couldn’t escape was other people’s smoke. Everywhere I went the sweet smell of tobacco followed. At work, in the shopping centre, even at home people were lighting up.

Stay strong, I told myself as my neighbour stood at my doorway this morning taking a deep drag from a cigarette. Remember, you’re a non-smoker.

I thought of Uncle Ross. He smoked fifty a day; even after they’d diagnosed him with emphysema. His last ten years was spent trapped in a body that was slowly drowning. In the end, we couldn’t even joke around him for fear he might suffocate from laughter.

There are others too. Smoking has killed and continues to kill my family.

But still I’m tempted.

Outside my window at work, the smokers gather. They light their torches and blow out the stresses of the morning. It won’t be long until they come looking for me.

Can I live without them, I wonder. Will I turn into a one of those people who work through their break?

I take a long swig from my water bottle and think of all the money I’ll be saving. Maybe I’ll spend it on a gym membership. Or maybe I’ll buy a new pair of runners and take up jogging.

At lunch, I head down to the shopping mall to check out the sports stores. At the entrance, a young man sits next to a no smoking sign, holding a lit cigarette.

‘Can’t you read?’ I ask him. ‘It says no smoking!’

He shrugs his shoulders before taking another drag.

I think of myself at that age. Back when it was cool to smoke. Back before the persistent coughing and tar stained fingers.

‘Look, I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘It’s just that I’m trying to give up today and everywhere I go people are smoking.’

He laughs at me before butting out his cigarette.

‘You reformed smokers are the worst,’ he says.

Yesterday, I would’ve agreed with him. But now, I’m angry. Angry that I have to battle my cravings in a world full of second-hand smoke. Angry that I’ll have to find new friends at work. Angry that the government has only pushed smokers out into the fresh air, instead of banning it all together.

‘It’s inconsiderate people like you that make us this way!’ I yell as he walks towards the exit.

He turns to me and smiles.

‘For God’s sake,’ he says. ‘Have a cigarette!’

These words repeat in my mind for the rest of the day. But still I refrain. For now I have two reasons to give up smoking: my health and my refusal to continue polluting the air with my second hand smoke.

 

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Page last updated on 15/12/05